the scoreboard
by clairebare
Summary: for jane watchers
1. Chapter 1

THE SCOREBOARD

Head

Angela, Teresa, Kristina, Erica, Lorelei, Kim

Chest

Angela, Teresa, Lorelei

Butt

Angela, Lorelei

Calves

Angela, Lorelei, Kim

Thighs

Angela, Lorelei

Privates

Angela, Lorelei

Feet

Angela, Lorelei

Forearms

Angela, Teresa, Kristina, Erica, Lorelei, Kim

Back

Angela, Lorelei


	2. Chapter 2

COLOR COMMENTARY OF THE SCOREBOARD

Angela and Lorelei win, they have seen the most parts of Patrick. However, they are dead.

Erica and Kristina are marginal and out of the running. Their scores indicate that the number of body parts they've seen are no more significant than the average passerby. They do not surpass Rigsby, Van Pelt or Cho.

Teresa has seen his head, forearms, and chest. The chest gives her claim to a body part not seen by any other non-dead woman.

Kim has seen his head, forearms calves. Calves are significant, as no other undead woman has seen them, but, according to the referee, less so than Teresa's chest sighting.

Does seeing his chest deserve a higher score than seeing his calves?

We at the Patrick Jane scoreboard think the chest is more significant.

If this cannot be resolved, nude Greco-Roman wrestling between Teresa and Kim is the only solution.


	3. Chapter 3

THE SCOREBOARD, PART 2

Lips

Angela, Erica, Lorelei

Cheek

Angela, Hightower (2)

Hugged

Angela, Teresa, Hightower

Hand

Angela, Teresa

Arm around

Angela, Erica

Back

Angela, Teresa

Checked watch

Teresa

Breast,

Angela, Lorelei, Grace

Butt

Angela, Lorelei, Teresa

Hair

Angela, Teresa


	4. Chapter 4

COLOR COMMENTARY OF SCOREBOARD PART 2

Once again, Angela dominates. She is however, still dead, thus making room for up and comers like Teresa.

Lorelei's high score in intimate areas like lips, breast and butt would make her a serious contender were she not also still dead.

Teresa has some hurdles to clear having been neither kissed on the cheek nor on the lips. She has been the subject of numerous hugs but cannot hope to progress to the championship round until she has a kiss under her belt.

(Also, Angela and Lorelei have literally gotten kisses under their belts. So once Teresa successfully completes the kiss-on-the-lips category, she should make a strategic move and go for extra credit in the under-the belt area.)

Teresa does make a good showing in the all-important butt category. Her hair having been adjusted is a new category and one worth watching as other players eagerly throw their tresses into that arena.

Teresa should be proud of her achievement in the hand-on-the-small of-the-back category but should not lose focus. Making inroads in the crucial kiss and breast categories could make or break her this season.

Erica's two appearances on the scoreboard are in significant categories. In the future, she could build on the confidence she gained from acquitting herself so well and re-enter the fray.

Hightower's admirable showing in the kiss-on-the-cheek category with two instances must be acknowledged. She has also been hugged so although she has functioned as an exhibition player in the past, she has credibility from a purely numerical point of view.

Also, Grace's breast being patted is awarded a certificate of merit.


	5. Chapter 5

SCOREBOARD THREE

In bed

Angela, Lorelei

On bed

Angela, Lorelei, Teresa, Kim, Erica**

On leather couch

Teresa, Erica

In restaurant

Angela, Teresa, Erica, Kristina, Kim

At bar

Angela, Lorelei, Teresa, Kim

On beach

Angela, Lorelei, Teresa, Kim

On stage

Teresa, Erica

On TV

Teresa

On park bench

Angela, Teresa

In hotel room

Angela, Teresa, Erica, Lorelei, Hightower, Darcy

Danced with

Angela, Teresa, Kim

Danced for

Teresa, Hightower

In Citroen

Teresa

In Attic

Teresa

At Malibu house

Angela, Teresa

On plane

Angela, Teresa, Kim

In Prison Visitor's Room

Teresa, Erica

In basement/dungeon

Teresa


	6. Chapter 6

COLOR COMMENTARY OF SCOREBOARD THREE

Angela, as usual, performs well showing up in ten different settings with Patrick. Including the coveted "In bed" category.

Lorelei is the only other player who shows up in this category as well as four others including the sought after "On bed" and "On beach."

Angela and Lorelei still face the daunting challenge of being dead and are listed as sidelined due to fatal injuries.

Teresa, though still surprisingly absent from the "In bed" list, shows up in the very important "On bed" category. Though Teresa has long held a position on this list, a new player, Kim has recently joined her on this auspicious list

Note: Erica appears with an asterisk in the "On bed" category because she was on a bed while Patrick stood several paces away. This also places her in the popular "Hotel room" category.

Exhibition players Hightower and Darcy also appear in the "Hotel room" category.

Erica shares with Teresa the distinction of appearing in the prestigious "On the couch" category. She also joins Teresa in the novelty category "On stage."

Teresa and Erica are the only players listed in the "In Prison Vistor's Room" category. As an interesting note, Teresa twice visited Patrick in prison and Patrick visited Erica in prison. Both being a visitor and a prisoner qualify a player for this category.

Kristina, at one time considered a contender, makes a poor showing appearing only in the generic "In restaurant" category.

Kim is the rookie to watch appearing in the categories, "On bed," "On beach," "At bar," "At restaurant," "Danced with," and "On plane."

Angela and Teresa are the other players in the "Danced with" category.

"Danced for" is a new category populated only by Teresa and Hightower. It is unlikely that any other players will join this category though Kim is predicted to take a run at it this season.

This round-up would not be complete without a salute to Teresa who appears in classic categories like "On bed," "On beach, "At restaurant," and "In hotel room."

Teresa's other achievements present a cavalcade of special and sentimental favorites. "In Citroen," "In attic," "On park bench," "At Malibu house," and "In basement/dungeon." Seventeen categories in all.

Congratulations, Teresa. Good luck in the coming season as you make another attempt at the "In bed" category. We know you'll do us proud.


End file.
